overflow

i've had a lot of thoughts in my head over the past few days and i've been wanting to dedicate posts to each of them but with so much typing already with the transcribing i haven't had the energy to sit down and do it in my free time.  instead i've been watching pretty little liars and the office like crazy.  i haven't even really been writing poetry which is... unfortunate.  can't wait to get in classes again... can't even believe i just said that.

so today i was talking with some people and jokingly i made a statement about how it's dangerous to give me ideas because ideas "are my game".  this was referring in part to my being an infp ("the dreamer").  this was brought up because recently i have been given a new idea to incubate and dream about.  you may recall that i got some wonderful thrift from a store in georgia that supports a service providing organization for survivors of trafficking.  addie sort of casually and dreamily supposed in the car the other day, 'what if we did that in richmond?' and now i cannot let go.  this idea is a beautiful balloon that is chained to my wrist, you get me?  ha.  now i'm praying that next summer can be like this summer, except instead of researching trafficking, we can be planting a thrift store to support initiatives that come to life in our area.

to those who have ever felt "less than."  i'm hearing this from a lot of people lately.  that they feel less than.  that in reaching out to others then they feel needy.  may i just say to all those who have ever felt less than, so do i.  i feel less than, all the time, all the time.  it's definitely a part of being human.  and God is definitely so gracious.  on Sunday the sermon was about Ephesians again, and, honestly, i can't rattle back the whole thing, but the one thing that really really stuck to me was a clarification i've heard before: we don't behave in certain ways (pursuing holiness, His standards) to become accepted by God; we (those who believe in Christ) are accepted by Him, and our behaviors change as a result. this is really key people.  honestly, sometimes i don't know what to say to people when it comes to feeling less than or comparing themselves to others.  i can say that is a temporary state of mind, that it's not the truth, that it will pass, that they should write down things they like about themselves to counter it, and i can name things that are really amazing about them to offer proof against the lies.  but it's not the same as being able to say, "you are accepted as you are right now by the One who created you, and everything.  no comparisons.  no dependency on your actions.  you are accepted, now you can act like you are."  it makes all the difference for me.  i compare myself to people far too often.  i've been doing it all summer.  and on Sunday, i was feeling very overwhelmed and convicted about it.  those short lines were like someone unlocking the chains for me.  if i step into that reality, that truth, i don't have to compare myself anymore because it's not a competition.  being accepted first removes competition.  what i do isn't about getting in or being better or earning anything; it's simply a reflection in my life of a gift i have been given.  and maybe the reflection for me will look a little different than the reflection in another person's life.  but in mine, i'll tell you what you'll definitely find.  praise.  because God doesn't look down on the earth like its His own personal Hunger Games.  He's not pitting us against each other, and thanks be to God for that, 'cause the way I see it, I would so be out of the games.


that's all i can get out for now.
good night.


^{Ephesians 2:4-10}
But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurableriches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.