INFP + INFJ

so i'm an INFP.  and now you are wondering what language i am speaking.  it's myer's briggs-ish.
i'm going to break it down for you:

INFP stands for Introverted, iNtuition, Feeling, and Perceiving.  


INFPs make up 2% of the population.  this is the short description of the INFP from mypersonality.info:

INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginative, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.

does it sound like me to you?  i'm titled "the dreamer" and apparently i share this personality type with audrey hepburn, j. r. r. tolkien, and john of jesus's disciples (how do they even figure that out?!).


i highly recommend knowing the personality types of people you are close to.  maybe that sounds weird at first, but it's actually really helpful!  it's not so much a being nosey thing or trying to be able to pin someone's bad habits on them thing ("it makes so much sense you're a camera hog you're an ESFP!") as a learning how to work well with them and understand them.  


i'll explain more in a minute.  here's what addie is: Introverted, iNtuition, Feeling, and Judging.  what does "judging" mean, you ask?  it does not mean that addie looks at people and makes assumptions about them all the time.

Judging is the preference outwardly displayed. Judging does not mean "judgmental". Judging people like order, organization and think sequentially. They like to have things planned and settled. Judging people seek closure. 

versus perceiving:

Perceiving is the preference outwardly displayed. Perceiving people are flexible, like to keep their options open and think randomly. They like to act spontaneously and are adaptable. Perceivers like to keep things open ended. 

INFJs make up 1% of the population.  this is the short description of the INFJ from mypersonality.info:

INFJs, making up an estimated 1% of all people, are the most rare type (males even more so). They are introspective, caring, sensitive, gentle and complex people that strive for peace and derive satisfaction from helping others. INFJs are highly intuitive, empathetic and dedicated listeners. These traits tend to act as a "tell me what's wrong" sign on their forehead, hence the nicknames Confidant, Counselor or Empath. INFJs are intensely private and deeply committed to their beliefs.

she is "the confidant"!


so addie and i sort of stumbled into looking up our personality types today.  a long list of suggestions for dating infps came up on my other blog dashboard and i ended up laughing because one of the suggestions directly correlated to how i was feeling and acting on sunday.  here that is:

#5 You MUST have patience (at least when it comes to emotional outbursts). To the NTJ’s especially, you need to know that INFP’s just cry sometimes about things that are unsolvable (or even ridiculous in the eyes of others). Usually the best thing to do is to ask “What can I do for you right now?” and you can figure out what to do from there. But don’t expect to solve the problem for them in this case. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just sit with them/ hold them as they release their emotions.

more than that, the other day, while addie and i were walking from getting lunch to the hotel she was mapping out the rest of our day for us, sort of planning ahead ("we can do this for an hour when we get back then this for another hour then head off to this place and get back by this time, etc. etc.") and i was like "that sounds good" and then i went off on this exclamation about how glad i was that she could ground me and give me structure.  here was another tip for dating an INFP:

#3 You have to be able to talk sense into your INFP. Don’t be forceful in doing so. Despite their type, INFP’s can be very logical people. Though they don’t naturally go there when making decisions, they are readily accepting of a thought pattern that makes sense. All you have to do is show it to them. If you aren’t this person in the relationship, your INFP will float away with the passing clouds.

it doesn't as concretely relate, but it still make me laugh a little.  and as i said before, these tips were about dating someone not working with someone so they didn't all apply.  but the general gist of it was relevant.

after more research on the topic (not just dating tips) this is what we've found:

it makes sense that addie and i get along really well and feel very in harmony because we are both introverted, intuition-driven, and "feelers" so to say.  these are good commonalities.  however we both have natural difficulty with conflict and confrontation which means we both have a natural tendency toward passive aggression.  now we know to be intentional about being honest with each other if either one of us ever feels offended by the other– we won't want to, but it would be so unhealthy!  addie also knows that i have a tendency toward reacting emotionally under stress, and that i may be intimidated a little sometimes by her judging nature.  and i know that i need to work on speaking my feelings to her and that i have to just understand that her mind works in planning mode!  what we bring naturally to each other is the following: she brings me out of my shell, and i encourage her to sort of relax and pull out of full-drive-mode.

pretty cool, huh?!